Lucille Ball quotes

"You spell Bob Hope C-L-A-S-S."

"A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may
be smart, but he's not very bright."

"Love yourself first, and everything will fall
into line."

"If they don't know what I do by now, we're all
in trouble." (on doing her last `Life with Lucy').

"I never thought I was funny.  I don't THINK
funny."

"Women's lib?...It doesn't interest me one bit.
I've been so liberated it hurts."

Upon seeing her first bag lady:
"I was startled and I stopped and smiled and got
no smile back." (That same scene was repeated
twice more. After the third time:) "I just
walked on and I thought, "hey, I guess that's
what happens.  You just don't see them anymore."  

While filming `Stone Pillow':
"I sat on Madison Avenue for an hour or so on a
bunch of garbage bags and nobody---NOBODY!---
other than another actor involved, ever looked
at me."

On her grandchildren:
"They're my treasures...You know, if they were
around more often, maybe I wouldn't have decided
to go back to work."

"What we did on I Love Lucy was not slapstick.
I worked with the Three Stooges years ago, and
they were masters of slapstick, so I know what
slapstick is."

"The best thing I learned from working with the
Stooges was when to duck!  It's true.  Your timing
has to be right so that you don't get hurt in the scene.
The Stooges were always teaching people on the set
how to duck,"

"Let Mr. Computer Become Your Friend!" Lucy to
Gale Gordon on "Life with Lucy".

Carol Burnett said: "She didn't leave any vacancy.
Lucy was what she always was, and for me, always
will be the queen of comedy---and that's it."